If something bothers you that happens within a relationship that is important to you, you should say something.
You might prefer to try and avoid conflict by just saying nothing but that’s actually not a good thing for the long-term. If you say nothing, it’s actually a bit dishonest and we all want honesty, right?
It also doesn’t prevent the same thing from happening again because the other person is unaware that it bothers you.
So here’s the thing about conflict resolution… the goal has to be to resolve the problem. “How can we both do something different so that we don’t arrive at this point again?” instead of, “Listen up: You need to quit this.” In the former situation, it becomes a collaborative effort rather than requiring the other person to change to suit your needs.
Conflict only becomes argument if two people choose opposite sides. Conflict can become a source of growth if you both decide to be on the same side focusing on the problem and solution.
See, if you say nothing, you’re building up to a breaking point. Breaking points are much harder to come back from because so much damage has been done in the buildup.
It’s simple, really: Don’t worry about making a big deal about something little. You’re not. You’re making a little deal out of something little to prevent it from becoming a big deal.
This story originally appeared on The HiYL