black and white photo of infant smiling
‘I love you, I hope you know that. But I’m small and new...

‘I love you, I hope you know that. But I’m small and new and I can’t say it yet.’: Mom pens touching letter from perspective of newborn

black and white photo of infant smiling

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“I love you.
I hope you know that.
But I’m small and new and I can’t say it yet.
So the tears will come when I need you, and sometimes I feel yours too.
I know you ache, but I ache for you.
Maybe we feel the same?
When it’s dark around me, and your face comes into view, I know everything will be okay.
Do you know that too?
I just want to tell you,

‘I love you.’
But I can’t just yet.
So I’ll stretch out my arms instead.
I’ll protest and fuss when you put me down.
When all I want is your smell, my comfort, a wholeness.
Because you smell like the two of us, as if we were one.
You’re all I know.
All I need.
I can’t wait to know more about the you before me, but right now it’s ‘us.’
One day I will tell you,

‘I love you.’
When I gaze up at you, as soon as I find your eyes, my whole world is in focus.
Maybe we can both slow down together.
Orbit around each other, like we have nowhere to be.
As if this will be no longer.
As if my smallness won’t last.
I wish this moment could last forever, and maybe one day you will too.
These days are ours, as you whisper to me,

‘I love you.’
When you kiss me goodnight.
As I fall asleep.
As we breathe each other in.
When I wake, again and again, searching for you.
While you’re searching for you, too.
While we find each other.
I know it is constant.
But you are my constant.
Because these days filled with nothing are everything to me.

This story originally appeared on Love What Matters.

And soon my head won’t rest on your chest.
Soon my cries will become words instead.
By watching you, my lips start to move.
The only feeling I’ve ever known, in a voice that feels new.
I’ll smile up at you and say the words,
‘I love you too.’”

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Jessica Urlichs. You can follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram

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