Sister, lean in for a second. Can I tell you something?
Sometimes I get caught up in it. The lies. The feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I see others who seem to have it all together and wonder why I can’t do the same. I let the voices run rampant and comparison seep in.
And yet, I am so quick to point out everyone else’s successes; everyone else’s wins. It seems so easy to build everyone up around me, only to talk down to myself behind closed doors.
But, here’s the thing. There’s always going to be someone. Someone who is prettier or smarter. Someone who appears to have it all together. Someone who seems to get all the opportunities. Someone whose house is larger and newer. Someone who drives a fancier car; whose kids somehow always seem to behave in public. Someone who always manages to get time to go to the gym, while you rock day four of dry shampoo and no shower.
I know they make it look easy. I know it’s hard not to compare and think you’re never going to be like them.
But that’s the point. You’re not them, so stop trying. Stop buying the latest beauty trends and trying out the latest fad diets. Stop buying into the propaganda that if you have the latest gadgets or this that or the other that you will fit in; that you will find joy, because you won’t.
Stop feeding into this idea that you are somehow broken and in need of repair.
Sister, hear me. You were not put on this earth to be a shell of someone else. Be you.
Stop worrying about fitting in or what circle you are or aren’t a part of.
If a seat is taken, make your own freaking table. Stop hanging your head and questioning yourself. Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself to fit a mold you were never meant to be in. Make your own space and sit in the seat – confidently.
Because let me tell you something. That mom you’re comparing yourself to, she’s not doing it better. She’s not the ‘perfect’ mom you think she is. We all cry in the shower some days. We all lose our minds and are our own worst critics.
That thing that’s holding you back? It’s comparison. It’s this idea that someone out there is somehow a better mom or better wife or friend. But, no one gets to be the driver in your own life other than you.
So what are you doing in the passenger seat?
Get out of your head and out of your own way, sis.
Stop looking in the rearview mirror at all the things you think you lack and start seeing the road in front of you and everything you are. Because there’s always going to be someone who seems to be doing it better, but that’s OK.
They’re not you, and it’s time you started celebrating it.
This story originally appeared on They Whine, So I Wine