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Woman Tells Her She’s Not “A Real Mother,” So Mom Responds With These Powerful Words.

Motherhood is beautiful and one of the most special times in a woman’s life. Along with sweet baby snuggles and first words come the hard parts of teething, sickness, and disciplining. Mothers are there for their children through it all– good and bad– and are always their child’s biggest supporter. This is why every mom deserves to be recognized and celebrated for their love and dedication despite how they became a parent to begin with.

When one woman was bullied online and was told that she wasn’t a real mother on her mom-inspired Facebook post, she decided to shut down these types of comments for adoptive mothers everywhere. She posted her story on Reddit and it has since gone viral.

Read below to see how she defends her right to be called a mom.


A woman on Facebook tried to tell me I wasn’t a real mother because I didn’t give birth.

My response to her:

I did not give birth to my child. I did not get to feel him growing within me, or hold him against my skin when he was born. Perhaps by your definition, my child is not a part of me – he does not resemble me or my wife.

Let me tell you what being a parent is to me.

I didn’t labor for hours for this child, I labored for YEARS. I waited for years to be told that we had been chosen, that we were finally going to be allowed to be parents.

I didn’t feel labor pains. I felt the incredible pain of emptiness in my heart and home as my wife and I yearned to begin our family through adoption.

I didn’t get to wake up in the middle of the night and nurse my sweet child. I did, though, spend many nights lying awake and praying to whomever might be listening to let us be next. Asking myself why we hadn’t been chosen yet. Pouring over adoption profiles and sending endless e-mail inquiries on children available for adoption and being told no, no, no over and over again. And like you said, “you can’t possibly understand that feeling.” I feel certain you have absolutely no idea.

A child lives to depend on me – you’re right. My child has been let down by everyone else in his life. You think I am not losing sleep? He may not wake me up to feed him every couple hours, but he screams out in his sleep – no doubt reliving past traumas from the life he led before being adopted.

Not every experience is your experience. Not every mother is a mother because she gave birth. Not every child is yours or a “part of you” because you grew it inside of you.

My child will always be a part of me, because we’re fighting for this life together.

TLDR: [Forget] you. I’m a mom.


Share this woman’s words in support for mothers everywhere!

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