Whether you avoid the mall at all costs or prefer to live out a “shop til you drop” philosophy, there’s one kind of shopping trip that most everyone dreads: swimsuit shopping.
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Standing in a harshly-lit dressing room, in front of a full-length mirror, in little more than your skivvies is a literal nightmare for some people. As you critique each suit, it’s easy to slip into criticizing yourself and your own body, falling into negative self-talk.
One mom named Brittney Johnson recently made a big realization while bikini-shopping with her 4-year-old daughter: the way we talk about ourselves doesn’t just impact us. She shared her realization in the caption of the photo below.
Check it out!
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When we walked into the mall, my girl had her purse, her fancy shoes and her pretty dress on. “Don’t forget my sunglasses! Oh I gotta take my baby doll in with us!” So we did. All diva. All the time.
She made conversation with the guy at Starbucks even after I tried convincing her it is not called Starburst and they do not have candy. We had dinner where she told the lady “please” and “thank you” and “I just love your hair!” She high fived the attendant on her way off of the carousel and gave her two extra tokens to a little girl waiting on the side.
We walked into Target and she helped me pick out a few swimsuits. We picked out 11. Yeah. ELEVEN. Walked into the dressing room and she sat down her baby and started unhooking the swimsuits from the hangers and yelling “I can see your butt!” for the whole dressing room to hear.
And then I put on a suit, and then a second one, and a third one. I snapped pictures of them to send to my girlfriends and say “yes or no?!” because girls are wired weird and that’s just what we do… And then I snapped this one.
See that sweet baby girl in the corner? With half a dress on and one of the bikini tops I had picked out? I stopped for a second to see what she would say and when she turned to the mirror, she said “Wow I just love cheetah print! I think I look beautiful! Do you think I look beautiful too?!”… when it hit me that she only says what she hears. What she sees.
I tell her that she is beautiful every single day. She is kind walking through the mall, because I tell her she is kind everywhere else. She is polite at the order counter because she hears me when I’m polite to strangers everywhere. She gives compliments to people she doesn’t know because she loves how it feels when she hears them.. And when we are in a dressing room, with swimsuits of all God forsaken things, there is a split moment when I have the power to say, “Wow I have really gotten fat this year,” OR, “Wow I love this coral color on me!” And those are the words burned into my daughter’s brain.
When it comes to manners, be an example.
When it comes to kindness, be an example.
And when it comes to body image, be an example.
I am not a size zero. I never will be. I have big thighs and a huge rump and for some reason the middle of my body gets more tan than the rest? But this body made a whole other body. I am strong. I am able. And I am happy.
I don’t have to be beautiful like you, because I am beautiful like me. And as my daughter gets older, and she faces judgement and criticism, I will always remind her that the girls who look the prettiest in a two piece, or a body suit, or a freaking Snuggie, are the ones who are happy. Because that’s ALL that matters.
And I want her to look at herself every single day and say “Oh wow! I think I look beautiful!” because EVERY girl deserves to feel that.
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