Becoming a grandma or grandpa is one of the most exciting moments in a parent’s life.
No matter what the circumstances, it’s always a beautiful thing to see your family lineage grow and live on with new family members. Yet the actual process of having a baby is an extraordinarily stressful time for new parents, particularly young moms-to-be who are brand-new to the process of labor and delivery. Things don’t always go as planned, so having an idea of how you want things to go down, while maintaining flexibility, is crucial for a smooth birth experience.
One newly minted grandmother took to Reddit to chat with others about the fact that while her daughter was in labor, she’d been “kicked out” of the delivery room. While this sounds traumatic for granny, fear not: She wasn’t upset in the slightest!
In fact, this woman’s clear, mature manner of approaching her daughter’s labor and delivery process can serve as a lesson for all of us who someday hope to hold a grandbaby or two in our arms.
“My daughter kicked me out of the delivery room……as was her right, and I fully support her in her decision to do so,” Martella71 began.
She went on to explain:
She’s been in labor with her first child since yesterday evening. I drove her to the hospital because her husband, my son-in-law, was working an overnight shift. The plan was always to do that if she went into labor while he was gone, and she asked me many months ago if I would be in the delivery room with her. I said yes.
Everything seemed to be going according to plan, but when Martella71’s son-in-law arrived from work, she could tell the young couple was trying to think of a way to kindly ask grandma to leave.
I asked if she wanted me to go, and give them some privacy. She breathed an audible sigh of relief and said yes, and when she started to apologize, I told her not to. I gave both her and my son-in-law a hug, and went home to sleep. In the morning I saw a text from her that she was still in labor, so I went over to her house to feed her dogs and let them out.
Instead of getting angry or annoyed that she was shut out of the actual birth, Martella71 took this change of plans in stride. Not only that, but she found a way to make herself incredibly useful! Instead of just waiting at the hospital, Martella71 took care of things on the home front.
I’ve been here cleaning and preparing freezer meals since then, and when I’m done I’ll clean up the kitchen, feed the dogs again, and be on my way. When my grandchild is born, they’ll let me know. I’ll only come to the hospital if they ask, and I certainly won’t come here unless they ask.
THIS right here is what makes Martella71 the world’s greatest mother/grandma-to-be. Letting her loved ones know that she’s there if they need her, but otherwise stepping back to let them have their own moment.
Many grandparents are so excited about welcoming a grandchild that they overstep their boundaries and make the event all about themselves. It’s important to remember that you had your own birth story; this day is not about you, it’s about the new little family that’s about to grow before your very eyes. Your role is to love, support, cherish, and ease the transition!
Martella71 admits, “I’ve seen too many stories of overbearing grandmothers, and I won’t be that.” Here, here! This is how it’s done.
Happily, Martella71’s hands-off approach paid off. She updated her original post to let everyone know that her baby granddaughter had arrived, and she was over the moon about it:
Update: baby GIRL born 9:24 pm, after almost exactly 24 hours of labor! My daughter pushed for two hours before they told her they were going to have to do a C-section, and she asked to try pushing one more time, and then my granddaughter was out!! I’m so proud! 9 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches long! She’s a hoss! I’m just all shook up.
Thank you for showing us the cool, calm, and classy approach to welcoming a new baby to the family. We hope more mothers (and fathers!) will read this and realize that taking a step back is sometimes the perfect way to tell someone how much you care.
Please share this message to spread the word!