Girlfriends, I’ve got to get something off my chest.
My house is never clean. Like ever. I have friends (with kids) whose houses are spotless. Are they better mothers than me? Nope. Am I a better mother than them? Nope. I work out every day. I have mom friends who don’t exercise. (I mean other than running around like crazy people after their kids). Does that make either of us a better mom? Nope.
I have a friend who gave birth in a pool in her living room. I pushed mine out in a hospital bed after receiving a gift from the epidural fairy. Both of us are good moms.
I drink a beer or glass of wine (sometimes in front of my kids!) on occasion. I’m a good mom. My neighbor and good friend doesn’t drink. Also a good mom.
I’m a yeller. I have a good friend who is quiet and extremely patient. I envy her. But we are both good moms.
I have friends who are super organic, chemical-free, and dye-free. My kids sometimes eat popsicles for breakfast. The cheap kind that are 50 for $2.00. Are either of us better than the other? Nope.
I swear, but not in front of my kids. Are you a bad mom if you do? Hell no.
I’m involved with my kids’ school but I don’t volunteer and live there every day. Are the moms who volunteer daily any better than those who never do? No. Am I incredibly grateful for the moms who volunteer every day and help the teachers? YES.
Are stay-at-home moms better than working moms? NO.
Are working moms better than stay-at-home moms? NO.
Are married moms better than single moms? NO.
Are you a better mom if you take your kids on exotic vacations? NO.
Can you be a good mom if you the closest thing you get to a vacation is the park? YES.
Can you be a good mom and have a super scheduled summer with lots of planned activities? Yep.
What about if your summer is lazy with no plans? Yep.
Do good moms let their kids watch TV? Yes.
Play video games? Yes.
What about if you say no? Also fine. Your choice. You’re the mom. And a good one.
I’m a Christian. My friend and neighbor is Muslim. Another friend practices no religion at all. WE ARE ALL GOOD MOTHERS.
My other friend is gay. Her kids have TWO mothers. They are both good moms.
I breastfed. My kids barely had any formula. Am I better than moms who give their kids formula? NO.
So how about this? Can we all climb down off the judgmental mountain for a second? And just support one another? And just say, ‘Hey, motherhood is hard. You’re doing a good job. Raising kids can knock the wind out of a person. You got this.’
How awesome would that be? Just a thought.
This story originally appeared on The 21st Century SAHM