Becoming a father saved AGT judge Simon Cowell from the darkest time of his life.
Simon opened up about the extreme depression he experienced following the death of his mother, Julie, in 2015 while speaking on The Diary Of A CEO podcast. The former American Idol judge admitted that the experience added to the unprocessed grief of losing his father 15 years earlier, and he felt that life had become meaningless.
“I think particularly, when I lost my mum, I was on a downward spiral at that point,” he shared. “I lost everyone, you know. I’ve lost my parents. It’s finality now. What I said about the material things I’ve got, everything just meant nothing at that point.”
To escape the desperation, Simon Cowell lost himself in work. While that only pushed him further into his sadness, he became “addicted” to the “vampire” lifestyle.
“I was desperately unhappy. I wasn’t particularly enjoying my work. And I just thought, “You know what? I’m just going to become a vampire then,” and I would work through until 7:00 or 8:00 in the morning,” he added. “I would wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon, and I actually got addicted to that kind of lifestyle.”
“I just loved the intensity,” Simon continued. “It was almost like because of the loss I’d had, I’ve got to find something else to fill it. And it was I’m just going to be a ridiculous workaholic, and I was very successful, but I wasn’t happy, I really, really wasn’t happy.”
Simon Cowell Got a Surprising Phone Call That “Changed Everything”
Fortunately, a surprising phone call from his fiance, Lauren Silverman “changed everything.” Simon learned he was going to become a father, and the thought of having a family immediately gave him something to live for.
“It made me happy again,” he admitted.
Lauren and Simon welcomed their son, Eric, named after Simon’s late father, on Valentine’s Day in 2014. The now 10-year-old “saved” Simon “without question.”
Simon Cowell said he went from “dying inside” to finding joy in living for another person and watching them grow.
“I remember the first time I watched Jungle Book [with him],” he recalled. “And I’m looking over and seeing the joy he had watching that movie. It was like, ‘Oh my God I remember how I felt when I saw The Jungle Book.'”
This story’s featured image is by David Livingston/Getty Images.
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