Why is it that so many people forget their manners around pregnant women? There you are, just trying to have a polite bit of small talk when all of a sudden, the person you’re talking to opens mouth, inserts foot.
Whether it’s a well-meaning coworker or that busy-body from church, their remarks can really sting, no matter how good their intentions may have been. This is especially true when you’re a sensitive, hormone-addled mom-to-be!
To save everybody some discomfort, here’s a list of things you should never say to a pregnant woman.
1. Can I touch your belly?
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Hmm, let me think about that. NO.
Yes, we realize the belly is pretty irresistible. It’s firm and round, and sometimes you can even feel the baby in there, practicing his soccer. But it’s still our stomach, and since when is it okay for strangers or acquaintances to reach out and touch it?
No, thank you.
2. Wait, are you pregnant?
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No, I just swallowed a basketball.
Oh, wait — did you think I was just naturally this… round? Ouch.
3. Was this planned?
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Are you really asking me if my baby was an accident? How rude! Mind your own business, and just say, “Congratulations.”
4. You sure you’re not having twins?
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Translation: Wow, you’re super huge!
5. You’re not naming her that, are you?
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Name choices are a very personal matter, and parents are entitled to name their kid whatever they want. Voicing your dislike of a name they’ve picked out will no doubt make parents feel hurt and angry. So why do it?
6. Should you be eating that?
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Where did you earn your medical degree? Oh that’s right; you don’t have one.
Unless she’s eating Tide Pods, there’s really no reason for anyone to get between a pregnant lady and her lunch of choice. Mind your own business!
7. You’re going to breastfeed, right?
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Nobody has to explain how they plan to feed their child. Some women feel a lot of anxiety over breastfeeding, so this question comes with a lot of baggage. No matter how strongly you feel about the subject, just remember: as long as a baby is fed nutritious meals, that’s all that matters!
8. Why are you still at work/Are you going back to work after the baby is born?
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For many moms, working isn’t optional. This question pushes a lot of buttons for mothers who feel guilty about working, but rely on the income their jobs bring in. Again, mind your business.
9. You’re planning a natural birth, right?
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Maybe I want AAAAALLL the drugs! What of it?
Childbirth is incredibly hard, and at the end of the day, you’ll do just about anything to get the baby out as quickly and as safely as possible. Don’t judge.
10. Are you hoping for a girl or a boy?
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Who’s going to admit that they would love a son just a little bit less than a daughter?
11. You have to hear my birth horror story….
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This always happens — one woman tells her birth story, then another chimes in with hers, and before you know it, everybody’s one-upping each other about who had the worst experience. No pregnant woman wants to be reminded of the potential horrors that await her in Labor & Delivery!
12. It’s about time!
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Maybe someone had fertility issues and it took a long time to get pregnant? Ever think of that? It’s an insensitive remark, and remember, everyone’s path to conception is different.
13. Are you going to have more kids?
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Can I finish having this one, first?
14. You look like you’re ready to pop!
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Yes, I realize I could double for the Goodyear blimp at the moment… thanks for reminding me.
15. You look tired.
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Yup. Growing another human being will do that to a person!
Okay, so what can you say, you might ask? Try starting with, “I made you these brownies” and work up to, “How about a nice foot rub?”
If you can relate to this story, please share it with other moms who’ve been there, too!
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