To the mama hanging on by a thread. To the mama who feels like she takes one step forward and two steps back. To the mama fielding phone conference while feeding her baby. To the mama who forgot to thaw the chicken (again). Mac n Cheese it is. To the mama who’s wiped more noses, tended to boo boo’s and dirty diapers; whose cleaned up spilled milk and vacuumed crummies off the floor all before 6:30 am – I see you. I see you because I AM you.
I know you are tired, mama. I know some days you feel as though the whole world rests on your shoulders. Your bones ache and your mind races. Every day you try and beat the clock, only to lose another day.
So often I feel as women we are afraid to say that this motherhood thing is hard. We’re afraid to say I’m struggling, or I need help because what will people think? Will they see us as ungrateful?
But sis, it is hard. It’s OK to say it out loud.
This cherish every moment stuff? It’s a crock. It stacks weight on us and leaves us feeling even more guilt. I mean should we really be cherishing every moment? Because when my toddler is turning 50 shades of red and purple while being carried out sideways of a store – it’s hardly precious. Let’s be honest. But it still makes us focus inward and wonder why we aren’t happy every second of every day. Is something wrong with us? Are we not cut out for this?
Sister, you don’t have to love every moment of motherhood. I don’t know that it’s even humanly possible. You can be grateful and still have hard days.
You can be grateful and blessed and still count down the clock til your significant other walks through the door because you just need five minutes of no one touching you or screaming “mom” at the top of their lungs. If you rage text your husband because he said he would be home at 5:30 and it is now 5:35.
You can be grateful and love your babies to the moon and still lose your ever-loving mind. You know the moments I’m talking about – when you’re late for work (again). One child is now naked because his clothes were too itchy and the other can’t manage to find a matching shoe to save his life.
You can be grateful and still wonder what happened to your pre-baby body. You can look in the mirror and hardly recognize the woman staring back at you. You’ll wonder how you got here. If you’ve lost yourself – it’s normal, sis. She’s in there. Trust me.
You can be grateful and still rush through bedtime, skipping pages and reading cliff notes style because you have a laundry list of things to do waiting for you once the kiddos go to bed.
You can be grateful and still want to smother your husband with a pillow as he cuts down a rain forest sleeping next to you while you’re up with the baby for the fourth time tonight.
In a world that tells you, you have to be one or the other – it’s OK to be both. We all feel and experience these things. Every single one of us. Does it mean you’re a bad or ungrateful mom? Hardly. It means you’re real. We all have our days. Cherish every moment? No, sis. Just enjoy the ride.
This story originally appeared on They Whine, So I Wine facebook page