As our parents age, we must remember to cherish all the moments we have with them. When we were tiny, they changed our diapers. As they age, you may find yourself assisting them in this area. Our video shows an angsty teen named Jen circa 1992. When she finds out that her mom sent her jacket to the cleaners she slams the door in her mom’s face. If you were anything like I was then, you probably have a similar memory with your parents.
The video quickly shifts to the present day. The angsty teen is now a full-fledged adult, probably with her own children. The mom comes walking out of the bathroom, visibly showing her years. The daughter says hi and asks her mom how she is doing. The small talk continues, with Jen asking her mom if she is happy today. You can tell that Jen’s mom is mentally “not there.” Jen talks to her in simple words with a level of care you wouldn’t expect out of that angsty teen we met first.
If you are an adult with aging parents, please remember to cherish your parents every moment you have left with them. I remember when my father was going through the progression of Alzheimer’s. Some days were easy, and some were horrendous. I was his primary caregiver for his last two years with us. I remember a lot about my dad, but one memory comes to mind every time I think about him now.
We were in the bathroom preparing to go to a family Christmas celebration. As he was doing his business, I watched his cloudy eyes clear. It was like a curtain sliding aside, revealing clear eyes. He looked at me and said, “You know I’m dying?” I explained that we did and that if he was ready, he could let go. I told him we would miss him but would be okay. Then I asked him if he was ready. His eyes got a twinkle I hadn’t seen for 30 years, and he said, “Not just yet.” And as quick as his mind and eyes had cleared, the curtain closed, and he was gone again.
That one moment, perhaps 15 seconds of clarity, let me know that my dad was still in there. It makes the previous two years of toil disappear. When I think about my dad now, I think about that moment. He went in his own time, holding out until the day after my younger sister’s birthday in February.
If you care for aging parents, there are support groups in almost every community and on Facebook and other social media sites. You are not alone in this struggle. If you are having problems dealing with the stress of caregiving, please get in touch with a support group. Just knowing that you are not alone is often a huge help.
If your parents have dementia, Alzheimer’s, or just physical ailments, cherish them. Help them unconditionally the way they helped you when you were little. You don’t owe them that courtesy, but I promise your time will be well spent. Share this with any friends or family dealing with caregiving for an older relative or friend.
You can find the source of this story’s featured image here.
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