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‘We married ‘outside of our race.’ We get hateful stares. Still, we continue to love one another and grow stronger.’: Woman in interracial couple says ‘we will rise above negativity’

husband holding bride on swing next to woman in hospital bed with man beside her

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“As a little girl, I was constantly moving and having to adjust to change. I moved so much, that at one point it became hard for me to make friends due to moving so often. Finally, going into the third grade, my family moved to Glenpool and we stayed there until I graduated high school. Moving to Glenpool was difficult and different at first because I had always gone to black schools and had always been around black people. I, of course, adapted, and opened up to my new community at Glenpool. Glenpool was predominately white, which meant most of my friends were white. Growing up in Glenpool was easy for me because everyone made me feel welcomed, and as though the color of my skin did not matter. I played on sports teams, and I loved everyone there. Although going to Glenpool was different for our family, my parents always taught me to love everyone, no matter the color of their skin, and that is what I did.

My husband grew up in a small town where there were no black people or hardly any at all, but he was also taught to love others despite their skin. He played on basketball teams with other black guys, had black coaches, and has had several black friends throughout the years.  Even though he went to a majority white school, he did not see that blacks and whites were to be segregated. He loved his black friends and coaches as if they were his own family.

My husband and I were just freshmen in college when we met. We had several classes together, which is how we got to know one another. We started out as friends and then we started to crush on one another as time went by. We both knew we liked one another, but of course, we played it off until we couldn’t anymore.

Courtesy of Asharel Chastain

We started dating for a couple of years and got engaged shortly after we graduated from college. We got married 10 months after being engaged and then 10 months after being married, we got pregnant with our first baby girl. We have adjusted, and have really grown as a family over these last few months of welcoming our baby girl into the world. We were once this young couple in college helping one another with homework, to now being a married couple with our own house, own cars, college degrees, two dogs, and our first child!

Courtesy of Asharel Chastain

As an interracial couple, we have learned to ignore some people while out in public. As an interracial couple, we sometimes get glares from both the white and black communities. Glares that are meant to be judgmental since we are ‘married outside of our race.’ The glares and hateful stares have never bothered my husband and I, but we definitely notice it. We have been together for so long and have come so far in our relationship that we just laugh, and talk about how ridiculous people are to still judge an interracial couple.

This story originally appeared on Love What Matters.

We have encountered people who have made comments about dating outside of our race. We have been called slurs. We have been to the fair, different states, Lowe’s, and many other places where people will stare and give dirty looks. When we were younger in our relationship, we would get upset because we did not understand why people would judge an interracial couple who have nothing but love for one another. When we were younger, we tried to understand why people are the way they are when it comes to interracial relationships.

Courtesy of Asharel Chastain

We are now more mature in our relationship and we understand why people are the way they are. We understand people are judgmental, no matter how much we love one another. We understand people do not want a black person dating or marrying a white person, or a white person dating or marrying a black person. But we have come to understand it does not matter what other people think. We love each other so much it only makes our love grow stronger for one another. From this interracial relationship, we have both learned so much about one another’s background and we have grown together as a couple.

To our little mixed girl, we will teach her to love everything about her curls, fair skin, and green eyes. We will educate her on both her black and white cultural background. We will teach her to love every ounce of herself, no matter what society says about interracial people. We are determined to teach our daughter to love everyone, no matter the color of their skin, appearance, etc. We are determined to teach her to love with an open heart. We will teach her to know the color of someone’s skin does not define who they are.

We will love one another and continue to grow with one another. We will rise above all negative glares and racial comments. We will ignore the negativity, and continue to shine as a family. We will stand for interracial couples. We will be the change in the world.â€

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Asharel Chastain of Missouri. You can follow their journey on Instagram.

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