Just because you understand something logically doesn’t necessarily mean you understand it emotionally. Bridging that gap between knowing and feeling can be difficult. Luckily, mental health professionals, like therapists, are able to help. A woman named Kaileen is one of those people. As a therapist, she helps clients with a variety of issues, but shame is her biggest focus.
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Almost everyone struggles with shame at some point in their lives. That said, some of us have an extra tough time of letting that shame go. While there’s a lot of ways to handle shame, there is no one “right’ way. Curious to see what has helped others, Kaileen presented a prompt on social media: “Tell me something your therapist said (or did) that let shame completely fall away.”
Kaileen’s post has gotten thousands of replies, and they are full of insightful answers like the one above. Boundaries are needed for any healthy, safe relationship. But when you’re not used to setting boundaries, it’s totally normal for feelings of shame to crop up. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It’s a common part of the process!
Mental Health Therapist Invites Strangers Online to Share How Their Own Therapist Helped Them Finally Let Go of Shame
It can be easy to label our feelings as “good” or bad.” Similarly, we often assign morality to certain feelings. For example, someone who is super stressed out may feel like they’re inferior. That’s how the commenter below felt until their therapist gave them a new perspective.
After going through a difficult time, have you ever asked yourself, “Why didn’t I handle that better?” While it’s true that there is value in learning from our mistakes, sometimes, there was nothing more for us to do. This is especially true for people like the commenter below, who were still children at the time.
Shame can be a difficult emotion to process and, eventually, let go of entirely. That said, these kind strangers remind us that it is possible. Plus, it’s nice to be reminded that, while shame can make us feel alone, that’s far from true. In other words, there’s absolutely no shame in feeling shame!
What has your therapist said about shame that stuck with you?
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