Meet The Cat Distribution System: The Silly Way Regular People Become Cat Owners.

Beware of random kitties approaching you. They are part of the cat distribution system.

If you think you have absolutely no intention of owning a cat, you must pay close attention. There is a nefarious movement that intends to put a cat in every home. The worldwide “cat distribution system” is coming to your home soon. Once the system has targeted you, there is no way to combat the effort. You will be a cat owner. We are unsure who the mastermind behind this devious plan is, but the results are visible everywhere.


This little sweetheart had a collar on but no tag or chip so hopefully we can find her owner soon 💞 #catdistributionsystem

♬ Little Things – Adrian Berenguer

Do not confuse the cat distribution system with a standard cat trap. With a cat trap, one wily little feline will get your attention. Once you are smitten with the kitten, all of its brothers and sisters will instantly appear at your feet. While some people do end up with cats this way, they usually drop the kittens at the nearest rescue facility.

The cat distribution system is a much more effective deployment method. By focusing on only one cat or kitten at a time, the results are predictable. Former dog lovers become cat owners so fast that their eyeballs are still spinning! Some people actually look forward to being caught in the web of cuteness.

This poor guy didn’t stand a chance. The web of the cat distribution system snared him while out on a walk. Now look at him… hand feeding his new little baby with a syringe. And the snuggles! That’s totally adorable, but it means there is no chance of escape. He is too far gone for rescue.

Apparently, this is not the first time this gentleman has succumbed! The distribution snare was fast and furious. His girlfriend posted this follow-up. Five kittens and a dog in the past year! He must be wearing a sign!

The Cat Distribution System System Is A Growing Concern

This is not the first time we have discussed the problem with the cat distribution system. This time, we are phrasing it as the warning it needs to be. While it is seemingly random, this is a targeted program designed to put a cat in every home! When non-cat people start adopting random cats they find on the streets, it will create mayhem. Our society has no protective measures against this. Protect yourself!

Do not look at cute little kitties, no matter how loudly they meow. If they approach you on the street, run as fast as your legs can carry you. DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT. If you look into their adorable little eyes, you will be a goner for sure. The cat distribution system is real. It is here. BEWARE!

You can find the source of this story’s featured image here and here.

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