Australian Shelter Tries To Rid Itself Of Evil “Dictator” Cat With Hysterically Honest Post.

You know that saying, “Honesty is the best policyâ€?

An organization that advocates for cat welfare, in Australia’s greater Melbourne area, has taken that saying to heart. They recently posted a brutally honest, yet hilarious, description for a “despot and dictator”in its care, who goes by the name Mr. Biggles (or, more appropriately, Lord Bigglesworth).

According to the Cat People of Melbourne, you must meet his high standards for how he should be stroked or you will get nipped in retaliation. Though he “does love a cuddle from time to time,”it must be on his own terms. And never, I repeat never, forget to worship the ground he walks on — or suffer the consequences.

Read the entire post below, and if you happen to know anyone in the Melbourne area who’s up for adopting a tomcat with, “very firm boundaries,”be sure to let them know about Lord Bigglesworth!

Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter, utter, utter b*stard.

He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes… but beware. If he doesn’t like what you’re doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time.

Pet Rescue

Mr Biggles does not like to be thwarted. He throws a catty tantrum if he can’t go outside when he wants to be let out (and he wasn’t allowed outside for the first couple of weeks at his carers house so there was a few tantrums!). Not being fed on time, or allowed to strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there is also a tantrum inducing exercise.

Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards. There is some warning that Lord Bigglesworth is displeased with you, his eyes will go dark and tail will start swishing harder. Mr Biggles likes his cuddles on his terms, and will sit in your lap when he decides it’s time. If the stroking is not up to his standards, he will nip you.

Pet Rescue

Shhhhh… Mr Biggles does have a secret soft side… he plays with kittens and actually does love a cuddle from time to time. He loves to be involved with what you’re doing and loves to have a chat, he will respond if you talk to him. While he’s not a fan of being picked up, likes a pat and cuddle from time to time, and even permits kisses on his shiny black head, if he’s feeling mellow.

He loves sleeping on the end of the human’s bed, and in his cat bed (and he snores just a little bit, it’s so cute). He loves to be out in the backyard stalking the chickens and supervising the gardening, and he has been playing with the dog (and not drawing blood).

And now I’m in trouble for telling his softie secrets so I have been ordered to say that Lord Bigglesworth believes he was put on this earth to be decorative and be worshipped by his human slaves!

Pet Rescue

Mr Biggles is not a cat for the inexperienced or faint hearted. He is a full blooded tomcat with very firm boundaries. Mr Biggles needs an owner that won’t take his nipping personally but won’t let him get away with bad behaviour either. He will make the right person an exceptional feline companion for life, because when he gives his heart it will be absolutely and fully given without return.

Are you that one special person for Mr Biggles?

Up for an – um, interesting, life with this feisty kitty? Share to spread laughter today!