30 Hilarious Pickup Lines That Are So Atrocious They Just Might Work

man carrying woman through snow while they laugh

Love is in the air this time of year, and so are all the best (worst) pickup lines out there.


From cringe-worthy puns to impressively terrible dad jokes, the people of the internet have seen it all. We were so tickled by their creative genius that we’ve decided to share our favorites with you here. We double dog dare you to try them out on your significant other this week. We promise it… might go well!

1. “Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

2. “Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem just Wright!”

3. “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

4. “Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

5. “Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

6. “It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I am totally checking you out.”

7. I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away!

8. Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got “fine” written all over you.

9. Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you.

10. (Hold out your hand.) Hey, I’m going for a walk. Would you mind holding this for me?

11. If you were a Transformer, you’d be “Optimus Fine.”

12. You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

13. I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.

14. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

15. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?

16. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a “cute-cumber.”

17. Kiss me if I’m wrong but, dinosaurs still exist, right?

18. I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

19. Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!

20. Do you know what the Little Mermaid and I have in common? We both want to be part of your world.

21. If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d give you a 9, because I’m the 1 you’re missing.

22. I’m good at algebra; I can replace your X and you wouldn’t need to figure out Y.

23. Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?

24. Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

25. Do you like “Star Wars”? ‘Cause Yoda only one for me.

26. How much does a polar bear weigh? I don’t know either but it breaks the ice. Wanna get a drink?

27. Are you a loan? ‘Cause you’ve got my interest!

28. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put “U” and “I” together.

29. I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

30. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

All that’s really left to say is you’re welcome. In all seriousness, we’re wishing you and yours all the best in this love-filled time of year!

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