While searching for love and companionship, we’ve been trained to keep an eye out for “red flags,” or signs that the relationship is doomed.
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Instead of only being on the lookout for deal-breakers, what if we start looking for “green flags” that are waving us forward? If you’re wondering whether the person you’re seeing is “the one,” try looking for small, subtle signs that they are mature and worthy of spending time with you.
1. You can communicate openly and honestly with them.
If you have to edit what you say around someone, you can’t ever fully relax. On the other hand, if you freely speak your mind without worrying they’ll judge you – and allow them to do the same – you build a solid foundation of trust and comfort.
2. They’re up front about how they feel about you.
Think of this as the opposite of those silly head games some people play! Mature adults should feel comfortable telling each other how they feel about their relationship. No guessing games here, just straight up honesty.
3. “When someone is quick to give credit and slow to place blame.”
As this Reddit user wrote, “Such a great sign that someone will celebrate other people and appreciate / acknowledge them, and will be really kind and benevolent when something bad happens.”
4. They’ve got your back.
Have you ever been with someone who liked to “jokingly” rib you about something you’re sensitive about? It doesn’t feel good, does it? Instead, look for people who stand up for you instead of joining in the fray. It feels good to be supported.
5. They remember things you’ve told them.
Sharing history with someone is one of the main ways we form friendships. If they recall the small stories you shared about your childhood, what foods you like and dislike, and other small facets of your personality, they just might be a keeper.
6. You are allowed to disagree with them.
We can’t always agree with each other, but it’s crucial that we can have arguments without consequences. Respectfully disagreeing with one another should not lead to days of silence afterwards.
7. They’re considerate of others, even when no one is looking.
If you see them push in their chair after dining at a restaurant, return their shopping cart to the corral, and be polite to people who are serving them, it’s a good sign that they’ve got good manners and will treat you well, too.
8. They can admit when they’re wrong or don’t know the answer.
Some people say that admitting you’re wrong is the ultimate sign of maturity! Being confident enough to admit when they don’t understand or know something is another sign that they’ve got their ego in check and know how to be humble.
9. They encourage you to take time for yourself or your friends.
A secure partner doesn’t need you by their side 24/7. Even if they don’t share your hobby or interest, they support you and encourage you to fully embrace yours.
10. They have their own friends and interests.
It’s important to maintain your own friendships and hobbies outside of the relationship. You don’t want someone who just sits at home waiting for you; most people are generally happier when they’ve got a social network of their own.
11. They compliment people behind their backs.
They’re not paying compliments to garner favor. They’re confident in themselves and have no problem doling out praise where it’s due.
12. They want you to succeed and are proud when you do.
A true partner should be rooting for you, no matter what. Bonus points if you catch them bragging about your accomplishments to their friends!
13. You can count on them to do what they say they’ll do.
Being trustworthy is so important in any relationship, and there’s no such thing as a “little white lie.”
14. You share a common view of the future.
If they want to live in the city, but you prefer the country, that’s a red flag. But if you both share a common vision of what your life will look like in a few years, it might be worth it to work towards that goal together.
15. You like who you are when you’re with them.
This is the most important part! It’s important to surround ourselves with people who bring out the best in us, not the worst. Choose someone who makes you feel like your authentic self.
What are some of your big “green flags?” Share this story to start the conversation with your friends!
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