Is your marriage feeling stale these days?
In the early days of your marriage, you had an abundance of energy. Everything you did together felt exciting and fresh – so what happened?
Whether it’s the quarantine blues or you’ve just been together forever and feel like there isn’t anything new to experience, we have good news – there is always something new to do a couple. You just have to get a little creative along the way.
Here are 10 tips for keeping your marriage feeling fresh and alive.
1. Take a marriage course together
One of the simplest things you can do to make your marriage feel fresh and new is to take a marriage class together.
An online marriage course isn’t only designed for couples who are struggling – they’re designed for happy couples who want to strengthen their marriage. Marriage courses are easy and done from the comfort of your own home. They cover topics like intimacy, communication, and traditions.
Doing something to better your relationship is a great way to create freshness and excitement in your marriage.
2. Go abroad (when it’s safe to do so!)
Traveling is a great way for couples to bond and boost excitement. You’re in a new place, exploring things for the first time, eating new food, and you’re doing it together!
Going somewhere where you don’t speak the language well is also a great way to boost excitement and strengthen your connection to your partner because it causes you to rely on each other.
Not to mention, an NCB News report found that travel is good for a couple’s mental and physical health. Traveling lowers the risk of heart attack, relieves stress, boosts creativity, and enhances satisfaction and overall happiness.
3. Try new things in the bedroom
Remember when you were first intimate together and you just couldn’t get enough? That was no doubt an exciting time in your marriage.
Studies show that couples who are sexually satisfied in their relationships show an increase in overall marital satisfaction. However, the longer a couple is together, the more likely their sex life is to even out. Instead of doing it every single day, you’re likely down to a couple of times a week.
You don’t have to increase the number of times you’re having sex (though, that’s good, too!) to make your relationship more exciting. But, why not try new things to spice up your usual routine? Like sending a naughty text or trying new positions.
4. Try new things outside the bedroom
There is something comforting about having a routine. Routines can keep us on track, help us be more productive, and create the stability that many crave. But, too much of a routine can make a marriage feel boring.
Studies show that couples who try new things together experience an increase in self-expansion and marital satisfaction.
Try something new with your partner like getting fit, cooking together, or taking up new hobbies. Doing things out of the ordinary boosts relationship stimulation and promotes bonding between partners.
5. Make goals together
If you’re not working towards something, you’re staying stagnant, and that doesn’t lend itself to an exciting marriage!
Setting goals is a great way to grow as a couple and as individuals. Not only will pursuing goals give you both something to work and grow towards, but it also gives you reasons to celebrate each other when you reach your milestones.
6. Have a self-care day
Another way you can keep your marriage feeling fresh is by making yourself feel fresh!
Self-care in marriage is essential to keep it happy and thriving.
Dressing up, practicing hobbies you love, having an at-home spa day, hitting the gym, and simply taking some time for yourself will lower your stress levels and make you a more compassionate person.
When you take care of yourself, you’re giving yourself time to decompress. You’re boosting your own sense of self-worth and esteem.
The better you care for yourself, the more of yourself you will be able to give to your spouse.
7. Plan fun date nights
Spending time with your partner is a great way to keep your marriage feeling fresh, and we’re not talking about watching reality shows and playing on your phones together.
Real quality time is about turning your phones off and actually planning something to do together.
The National Marriage Project’s study on date night benefits says a lot about the importance of quality time in a marriage. Research shows that those who had a regular date night (regular being at least once a month) had an increase in sexual satisfaction, passionate love and excitement, and were less likely to get a divorce.
Some (pandemic-friendly) ideas for a date night include:
· Go for a hike and take pictures together
· Have a picnic in your back yard
· Going out to eat on a patio
· Open a bottle of wine and ask each other get-to-know-you questions
· Play tourist in your own city
8. Go to bed at the same time
Some partners feel anxious about going to bed without their spouse. They may feel that the lack of togetherness represents something going wrong with the relationship.
Keep your relationship close and fresh by sharing the same bedtime. This can promote feelings of security, togetherness, boost oxytocin, and may even lower your cortisol (AKA, your stress hormone.)
9. Do the little things
These little things can be the biggest signs of a healthy and fresh relationship. Why? Because these are usually the things we do at the beginning of a new relationship that mostly fall to the wayside once we become comfortable with our partners.
Here are some examples of little things you should start implementing in your relationship repertoire:
· Ask “How was your day?”
· Share funny stories
· Hold hands
· Say please and thank you
· Bring your partner coffee/tea/breakfast in the morning
· Compliment each other
· Listen attentively when your partner is speaking
· Empty the dishwasher
· Recognize each other’s accomplishments
· Give thoughtful gifts
· Put out/take in the garbage and recycle so they don’t have to
· Shovel the driveway/clean off snowy cars
10. Learn something new together
Do you ever feel like you and your spouse have ‘done it all’ or hit every exciting milestone there is to reach in romance?
If so, it’s time to spice it up! Make your relationship feel fresh by learning something new. Much like going abroad together, learning something new like how to play an instrument or speak another language forces you and your partner to rely on one another and makes life feel exciting again.
A marriage shouldn’t be boring – it should be an adventure! By following these ideas, you’ll be able to keep your marriage feeling fun and fresh for years to come.
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