Why I’ll Never Make My Daughter Match Outfits With Me.

becca daughter

I scroll past pictures on Facebook and Instagram of moms and daughters wearing matching floral maxi dresses, bathing suits, or rompers. Maxi dresses are my jam, and gosh those pictures are adorable, so I’m always tempted to click on the posts to find links to purchase.

But then I stop myself because while to the outside world I may have made a mini-me in the form of my daughter, I didn’t actually make a mini ME. My daughter may share my blonde hair and blue eyes. She may be tall with round cheeks and one dimple. But she is her own person, and this little lady has no interest in my style.

Given her druthers, my daughter would happily wear the same soccer jersey every single day. Preferably with the same striped shorts, but she’s open to the other striped shorts that look remarkably similar.

Her curly blonde hair is often tucked under a Broncos hat. If it’s not too hot out she’ll insist on wearing “crazy socks” up to her knees that she found in my sock drawer. As for the shoes, sneakers or Crocs. The older and dirtier the better.

Becca Carnahan

Alternatively, she would also be very happy to wear a full Halloween costume every day. If you stop by our house on the weekend it is very common to find her with a cape, an astronaut helmet, or in a full Batman costume – mask included.

She’s doing her own thing.

Does a tiny part of me wish that she’ll move onto a stage where she happily dives into her closet to pick out one of the dresses that I should have left the tags on? Sure. There is some super cute stuff in there! And I’d really like to twin it up with a matching adult version of that one pink dress with the tulle skirt. But it’s really not about me is it?

So if my daughter and I are going to match anytime soon, maybe I should call soccer camp and see if that jersey comes in a women’s medium. Or head back to the party store for an adult Batman costume.

Perhaps instead of our clothes, I’ll match her energy. Or her empathy. Or her deep belly laugh.

Perhaps I’ll mirror back to her that we don’t need to mirror each other at all.

I won’t say no if my daughter wants to don matching headbands tomorrow, or paint each other’s nails blue. But I will try to remember that we will both walk our own paths. Maybe our styles will intersect, maybe it will be our personalities, or maybe it will be none of those things. That doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I love this little girl. And she loves me.

Hey, would you look at that? We match.

This story originally appeared on With Love, Becca

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