When you think of the Transportation Security Administration, or as we usually call it, the TSA, you probably envision super-serious officials patting down nervous folks in security lines at the airport.
They’re all business, and rightfully so! Airline security is a really serious issue and when TSA agents are on the job, they’re trained to treat it as such. But there’s one part of the TSA that is unexpectedly hilarious. It’s their Instagram page.
Run by a man named Bob Burns, this account showcases all of the truly insane stuff people try to bring onto planes. From meat slicers to throwing stars, TSA agents from around the country have seen it all, and thanks to Mr. Burns, we get to partake in the unnerving fun through the TSA’s hilarious Instagram account.
Before we begin, please pack all hope you had left for humanity in your checked luggage because it’s not going to pass inspection here.
the #1 good news email read by 700K+ people.
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know Negan was on this flight.
Nothing says “airplane safe” quite like a dragon claw with a knife attachment.
Life Pro Tip: If something says “Shoots Flames,” leave it at home.
Shockingly enough, this one is actually allowed. But just because you can bring a giant lobster in your carry-on, should you?
You never know when you’ll need a hatchet on the beach in Florida, after all.
As it turns out, X-Ray scanners that can see through full whole entire suitcases can also see through stuffed animals.
“You know, they limit how much toothpaste I can pack, but my gun should be fine.”
Of all the toys you could possibly bring home, you choose the grenade-shaped one.
Somehow I feel like the agents who don’t allow granola bars through security aren’t going to take kindly to brass knuckles.
“Oh no officer, don’t worry. It’s not a gun. It’s a gun-shaped knife.”
Hiding your knife in your shampoo? Wash, rinse, and do not repeat.
And last but not least, A LITERAL BOMB.
Next time you encounter a grumpy TSA agent, just remember that they probably confiscated 400 weapons before they got to you.
TSA also started a helpful “Ask TSA” system for passengers to tweet photos of an item asking whether or not it’s allowed. They got some real gems like…
The answer to bacon is always “yes.”
TSA: “Can you bring bacon? Are you kidding? We encourage bacon. Feel free to pack bacon in your carry-on and checked bags.”
TSA with the puns:
TSA: “TSA has no problem screening your pig. Just check with your airline to make sure it doesn’t hog up too much space in the overhead.”
Are there no grocery stores where you’re going?
TSA: “Eggcelent question! No need to walk on egg shells over this, just bring them. They are good go in carry-on bags. They’re OK in checked bags as well, but you’d likely end up in a Humpty Dumpty situation.”
I NEED my Crock Pot.
TSA: “I tried to be punny with this post, but my puns were the wurst. The crock pot (without the liquid) and brats are good to go in both carry-on and checked bags.”
Shoutout if you get the reference.
TSA: “Yes, but be sure not to take the red one or Milton will set the building on fire.”
If you found the TSA’s Instagram account surprisingly hilarious, share this with your travel-buff friends!
Want to be happier in just 5 minutes a day? Sign up for Morning Smile and join over 455,000+ people who start each day with good news.