You go into pregnancy believing that you will see your early days of being a mama with only rose-colored glasses. You are quick to learn that it’s not what you expected. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. It’s also love in its purest form.
You will cry. You will laugh. You will learn so much about yourself, your partner, and that new little human who came from your love together or was brought to you because you were meant to be his parents.
There will be days you’ll question yourself — are you doing this or that right? Should you give her more formula or allow him to nurse for longer than you did? How long is that belly button cord supposed to stay on? Should he be sleeping longer? Is she awake enough?
You will change, too. Your body will not be what it was before you got pregnant. Your heart will be forever changed. You might cry more than you did before. You might not feel the way you think you “should” feel after welcoming your new little love.
But I’m here to tell you… all of that is OK! Do you hear me?
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When the fog of delivery and the rush of visitors has ended, you will experience life amongst the purple haze of being a new mom. The days will blend together. You will forget about the outside world most days… and yearn to be out in it again. You will bicker with your partner over who got the most sleep the past week, and also be grateful they gave you an afternoon to yourself to take a much-earned cat nap. Your belly will go back down, even if it’s left with the new stripes of motherhood. Your hair might fall out and your breasts might hurt beyond all belief.
Purple. It’s not black. It’s not rose. It’s not blue. It’s not yellow. It’s soft with its intention and not outspoken. Tired eyes that look onto a new life with happiness but also with the reality of what this new life entails.
When the purple haze starts to fade and your life becomes the new normal, don’t forget these early days. They are some of the hardest of your life — they will break you, they will push you, they will make you feel like you can do anything, but they will always be with you.
Mothers are made in the early days of the purple haze.
This story originally appeared on These Boys of Mine
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