When we work on ourselves and begin to grow, it’s natural for dynamics to shift with those around us. From our perspective we’re learning to be happier, more loving and better versions of ourselves, therefore, it makes sense that everyone would embrace this and be happy for us. Sometimes that’s the case and things move along very well. Of course, if there were nothing to learn here, I wouldn’t be writing this blog, so I’ll lean into the other option…when people aren’t embracing our growth.
In this case, it’s best to remember a few things, one of which is if someone is reacting negatively to our growth, it’s unconscious. No one would consciously choose to be negative about something positive.
This is proof that it’s something going on inside of them and has nothing to do with your growth (even if it looks like that or is verbally stated as such).
Another thing to remember is we each live our lives from our own perspectives. It’s impossible to completely climb into another person’s shoes and understand fully why they are behaving a certain way. Usually, they don’t fully understand it themselves. You see we are all the director and main actor in our own play. We unconsciously get used to people playing certain roles within our play and when someone comes along changing their role in your play without your agreement…there can be some animosity.
Sometimes people spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to help someone and really enjoy the role of helper. It makes them feel good about themselves. But what happens when their project actually changes and they’re not needed anymore? Or perhaps the person that’s been sad and troubled for many years becomes the one enthusiastic and full of advice? This is a strange dynamic shift and can take some time to get used to.
Another common dynamic is when people around you in similar situations are used to complaining with you about being a victim of life. There’s a comradery amongst people on a sinking ship. When one starts to rise above their circumstances it begins to threaten their way of life. Now it’s harder to maintain that it’s not their fault. They basically have two options:
1-to do what you’re doing and completely change how they view life
2-tear apart what you’re doing and stay where they are
It would seem that everyone would want to do what you’re doing and become happier…especially now that you’ve done it and have felt all the goodness that comes with it. But remember how you thought and felt 6 months before your journey started…not ready. They simply aren’t where you are yet and often it’s easier to continue on the victim train than it is to change absolutely everything and wake up.
There is a comfort to where they are and change isn’t easy even when the other side is better. It’s okay, if you treat them with love and distance yourself when necessary, you can become a beacon of hope if they ever are ready. If you judge them and put them down, you’re just as bad as they are. Rise up, be the change you wish to see in the world. Be love. Be the example of unconditional love that they can feel even if they can’t see it yet. If and when they are ready, they’ll know who to come to. Often times we’re the only example of true spirituality someone will ever see up close and personal.