There is no shortage of strange beauty products on the web, all promising to make us slimmer, tighter, and less wrinkly.
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Most of the products that make these outrageous claims are merely disappointing, but in the case of the “Facial Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece” modeled by Kristen Hampton, sometimes these products are straight-up hilarious.
Kristen, a reporter with WBTV in Charlotte, North Carolina, gained earlier internet fame on Facebook for her review of the “3 Second Brow.” She’s got a terrific way of communicating that invites the viewer in; she’s friendly and accessible, not to mention super funny and cute.
Now, Kristen’s back with a new product review, and it’s too funny to miss.
“I figured it had been just a few minutes since I did a product testing, like with my eyebrows, so I wanted to bring you something new and exciting that I found on the internet. I thought you might enjoy, but you probably want to know if it works before you order it yourself.”
Before inserting the “giant clown mouth,” Kristen points out that the product came with zero instructions, so she had to go online to find out how to properly administer the bright red silicone lips.
“See how her face is all gross and sad, and she uses this mouth thing, and it made her all happy!”
When she gets to the picture of someone using the item in a bathtub, Kristen suppresses a noticeable shudder. Can you blame her?
“It’s made of silicone, and I’m sure lots of toxic, poisonous chemicals. But I’m just gonna put it right in my mouth, because, you know, beauty first. Beauty before health.”
Words to live by, eh ladies?
“It’s just that easy, you just put it in there, and you have a slim face,” Kristen explains, shoving the overly-large object into her mouth so that her lips disappear entirely.
Kristen soon discovers that the $4.99 item makes you drool uncontrollably, because that’s what happens when you pull your lips back unnaturally in this manner.
“I’m sorry, it makes you slobber. Slobber. Slooooo-bbbber,” she enunciates, using her hands to pull her enormous clown lips shut.
It also makes it very difficult to form proper word sounds, but that doesn’t stop our intrepid reporter from attempting to narrate the review.
“I’m trying to say P-O-P. Pop in the mold and make mouth movements. One thing I have discovered already is it is very hard to make certain sounds with this.”
But really, the drooling is the worst drawback! Aside from how it looks, that is.
“So sorry, I know that’s gross, I can’t help it.”
Kristen apologizes as she wipes away the drool with a tissue.
The online instructions said she should use the item for three minutes while “making mouth movements,” so Kristen does… and it’s just too funny!
The product claims to result “in a more youthful, vibrant face,” but Kristen admits she doesn’t see much of a difference. Yet, like a true professional, she decides to reserve judgement until she has a chance to use it some more.
With the jury still out, Kristen ends her broadcast with a cheery farewell.
“Have a blessed day and don’t be a jerk to anyone today. Love ya, bye y’all!”
We love you too, Kristen! Thank you for making our day.
Watch her full review of the “Facial Slimmer Exercise Mouthpiece” below, and don’t forget to share to make someone smile (without drooling) today!
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