“To the girl who is forever going out of her way…who is loving and doing for others when she is still struggling to love herself. I see you there, having your coffee. Getting ready for the day. Giving yourself a pep-talk because you aren’t quite sure if you’ll make it or break it. You don’t really want to be the girl who feels she is constantly sacrificing, but you are and probably always will be. It’s an everlasting, lifelong quality, and while it may be hard to find yourself valuable right now, finding and embracing the happiness of others continues to make you who you are.
I know you. Because you’re the girl who feels like she is never enough for anyone. Who feels like nothing she does will ever measure up. Like she can’t do or be what everyone expects of her. Like she is competing against the inevitable. With self-image, relationships, friendships, the world, etc. With circumstances and a whirlwind of feelings she feels she can’t break away from. So, to you, sweet girl who is struggling, I’m going to share something with you today. Something that might sound unfamiliar to you at this point. You ARE enough. Do you wanna know why? Because you are you. No one else is you. It’s what makes you unique. Everything about you is enough. You can give and give until there’s nothing left, and even left completely empty you are STILL enough. You DO measure up. Because your journey is incomparable to someone else’s.
Where you stand and what you do today is completely up to you. You will never be anyone else and they will never be you. That is your power. And yes, you deserve to be cherished and cared for. Because you are beautiful and worthy of any and all the love which exists. Your escape is here today. Being a giver, in any way, is rare. It’s a trait you must learn to use wisely. While it’s one of the greatest characteristics to have, it can also become an emotionally exhausting burden to bear. So, my giving girl, know this: You may not always be acknowledged, and gratitude in return may never be shown. The challenge will be learning to give with no expectations, but also standing firm in knowing there are still people in this world who notice genuine kindness. They’ll notice your dedication and will always find ways to encourage you to continue. Those are the people worth keeping around. They understand thoughtfulness, and the goodness of the heart.
One of the most difficult tribulations you’ll ever battle in this world is having your emotions toyed with. Don’t ever beat yourself up in these situations. Users are the losers. Some people feel a sense of arrogance and entitlement, and this is not your problem, it’s theirs. Others were raised to care only of themselves. Always remember the people who have treated you fairly. They will stand out. They’ll go the extra mile. Remember the people who ask how you are doing when they haven’t heard from you in a while. Remember the people who support your work and clap when you win. The people who are never ‘too busy.’ Unfortunately, when coping with self-centered individuals, thinking of the people you care about can set you up to be destroyed inside. Because they don’t always care in return. You’re going to feel taken advantage of and let down. But you should never stop being the thinker. Never stop being the giver. Never stop being the girl who goes out of her way. Don’t try and change who you are because of the negativity in others. And don’t feel like you are wrong for standing your ground.
People? They can be pretty miserable at times. Some get a high off of leaving people out. Some point fingers and share whispers. Some will somehow see beauty in hatred and resentment. Your beauty immediately diminishes when you treat the people who have shown you they care as if they don’t exist. Any appeal you may have had disappears the moment you feel superior to someone else. And I can promise you, the girl who goes out of her way will not always be there. So dear girl, I will remind you time and time again, there is NOTHING you can do to change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions. Stay true to you. Love yourself and you will be amazed at what you will no longer tolerate. The disappointing thing about this world is thoughtful people tend to always get hurt first, and the most. We are constantly being walked on, because we are willing to take a consecutive beating for the ones we love. We are always the second choice—the sacrifice. We are always the call which is made when someone else can’t come. We’re always a sub-in, or some sort of benefit to get something else.
We don’t ever get the apology; we’re always giving it. Even when we were not responsible for the problem. Because, yet again, we care deeply. We would rather apologize for something we didn’t do than lose any kind of relationship. We are the person who wants to help you even though we know you wouldn’t do the same for us. And guess what? We’re still going to do it because we have a heart like no other. Yes, we too make mistakes. But we know how to own up. We understand it’s okay to admit when we are wrong, and we aren’t ashamed of it. The neat thing about being the giver, the thinker, and the one who is always trying, is our mistakes have made us who we are. We were built on figuring out where we strayed from the path and how negativity affected us. We rebuilt our foundation with the bricks others threw at us. So, mark my words when I say we are strong. Don’t ever try to break the girl who gave it her all because she is going to surprise you every single time. We don’t break—we bend. And we ALWAYS come back stronger. And when we are forced to bend, we mold ourselves into who we need to be to overcome any and every obstacle.
So, my giving girl, never settle. Never settle for less than you deserve, but never stop loving and showing compassion in spite of what you’ve been through. You are who you are for a lot of reasons, and even though you may not always feel appreciated, know the people who really love you will make it known that you are. You are appreciated by all of the others just like you. You are wanted and cared about. You have a heart of gold and it is so rare. When you are constantly doing for others it can be hard to remember you also need to take care of yourself. Don’t forget you need to love yourself, too. You deserve the same kindness you show to others. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you aren’t valuable. Your value is never determined by someone’s inability to see you worth. You decide what you are worth and what you are worth is not the sub-in, or the second choice. Your worth is not the last call on the list. Your worth is not being used or taken advantage of. Your worth is in the exact way God has created you.
It’s the originality you put into things. It’s your generosity and your want to be there for others. Your worth is everything. So, remember this when you feel like you aren’t good enough. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, exactly where you are meant to be. Taking the high road, never cutting corners on the way. The road may not always be a busy one. Loyalty, love, and compassion for others is sadly a lonely path to walk these days. But find it in your heart to keep walking, even when you want to drop to your knees and quit because you’re so tired of fighting for what feels like nothing. The destination is worth it, and you will find in the end you were worth holding on to. It was those who neglected to see you who no longer have value. And when they finally realize this, it will be too late. Because this is when you absolutely and utterly turn your back and walk away. You can forgive someone without allowing them a seat at your table again. You are still doing the right thing—the thoughtful and kind thing. Because you’re finally doing it for yourself.”
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