‘My husband grabbed my hand as we were driving. ‘Just breathe, babe…’ It started like always. The heavy breathing. The sweaty hands. The turning stomach.’: Woman says ‘he doesn’t buy me flowers, but he sits with me in my lowest moments’

“Growing up, I was always told the same few things about marriage.

‘Wait for the man who brings you flowers home!’

‘Wait for the man who always holds the door open for you.’

‘Wait for the man who buys you jewelry just because!’

I was never told to wait for the man who did things for me in silence. The things that almost go unnoticed because they weren’t flashy, expensive, or done in front of others.


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I had a bad anxiety attack this morning. Luckily, it just so happened to be on a day where my husband was home from work.

It started like it always does. The heavy breathing. The feeling of not being able to escape. The sweaty hands. The turning stomach.

My husband noticed and grabbed my hand as we were driving home. I focused on the feeling of the wind. The smell of the freshly cut grass. The leather seat that my sweaty hands were touching.

‘Just breathe, babe…’ he says, as he can clearly see I’m struggling to get air into my lungs.

As we approach our house, I feel a small sense of relief wash over me.

I always feel safer at my home. But I’m not ready to get out of the car yet. I don’t want to move.

I need a moment to relax and get my breathing back in order.

Without saying anything, my husband opens his phone, pulls up a YouTube video, grabs my hand, and just sits there with me. In silence.

We sat there for about twenty minutes until he let go of my hand and said, ‘Are you ready to go inside now?’

He knew exactly what I needed in that moment. To just sit, and to just be.

In that moment, I thought back to when I was always told to wait for the man who would bring me flowers, hold the door open, and all of those typical things.

But the man I’m so grateful I waited for, is the man who does things in silence.

The man who sits with me in a hot car, not uttering a single word.

The man who sits with me in silence, while I go through the trenches of my deep-seated anxiety.

Because you see, my husband isn’t one to bring me flowers often. He isn’t one to buy me jewelry randomly.

But he is one to sit with me in my lowest moment, and simply just be there with me.

And I think that right there, is something really worth waiting for.”

Courtesy of Caitlin Fladager

This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Caitlin Fladager, and originally appeared here.

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