21 People Who Hilariously Couldn’t Follow The “We Rate Dogs” Guidelines

All of our canine companions are amazing, but there’s only one way to determine just how good they are: “We Rate Dogs.”

Matt Nelson’s popular Twitter feed has been doling out pet rankings for the past few years. The premise is simple: People send in pictures of their pups, and Matt gives them a nonsensical rating. Sounds simple, right? Yet every so often, someone sends in a photo that doesn’t quite meet the criteria. These 21 are our favorites!

1. “For the last time, we only rate dogs. Whoever dropped a scoop of Oreo ice cream on the floor please come pick it up. Thank you… 13/10.”


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2. “Unbelievable. Why would someone send us a photo without a dog in it? We work way too hard to be this disrespected. Please send dogs. Thank you… 12/10.”


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3. “Oh c’mon. We only rate dogs. This is just a little froggo enjoying their walk in the rain. Sorry to bother you sweetie… still 14/10.”


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4. “This is Alvin. He forgot to pack enough carrots for all the other dogs at the park, so not everyone got one. Can’t believe he was so foolish. Today of all days. Still 12/10.”


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5. “We only rate dogs. These are perfectly synchronized wild horses. Please learn the difference. Thank you… both 13/10.”


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6. “We only rate dogs. Please don’t send in traffic cones. They’re there for a reason. Just drive around it. Thank you… 13/10.”


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7. “You think this is funny? We only rate dogs. This is a walrus. Please be more careful. Thank you… 13/10.”


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8. We said no seal pups!

9. “I know it’s Halloween, but we still only rate dogs. Please don’t send in anymore pandas. They get sad when we can’t feature them. Thank you… 13/10.”


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10. “This… is a tyrannosaurus rex. We only rate dogs. Please only send in dogs. Thank you… 10/10.”


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11. “We only rate dogs. Not sure why you’d bother sending in pics without a dog in them. That’s a pretty good leaf pile though… 13/10.”


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12. “Listen, I know it’s the first day of fall, and that’s very exciting, but we still only rate dogs. Please don’t send in pumpkin patches. Thank you… 13/10.”


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13. “You cannot be serious. We only rate dogs. Please don’t send bananas. It makes our job so much more difficult. Thank you… 13/10.”


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14. “This is Ollie. He likes to eat bananas and climb trees, specifically in that order. Looks like a burglar but only stole my heart. 12/10 lovely pup.”


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15. “We actually only rate dogs. We don’t rate curious bear cubs who like little chin scratches. Thank you. Please only send dogs… 12/10.”


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16. “We only rate dogs. Please don’t send us Oreo ice cream. This is not complicated. Thank you… 14/10.”


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17. “We only rate dogs. Please don’t send in category F4 tornadoes. They’re very dangerous. Thank you… 12/10 would still pet.’


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18. “My goodness. Please don’t send in ghosts. They are very frightening. We only rate dogs. Thank you… 12/10.”


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19. “We only rate dogs. Please don’t send in Large Bashful Walri. I don’t know why this is so difficult. Thank you… 12/10.”


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20. “This is an East African Chalupa Seal. We only rate dogs. Please only send in dogs. Thank you… 10/10.”


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21. “Please only send in dogs. We only rate dogs, not seemingly heartbroken Ewoks. Thank you… still 10/10 would console.”


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We don’t care if these good boys and girls are dogs or not! We would cuddle them in a heartbeat, so they get a 200/10 from us!

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