Twitter isn’t just for celebrities and politicians. We’ve already shared some hilarious lists with you with some laugh-out-loud-worthy tweets! There are these 25 tweets from moms about the realities of raising kids, and there are these 21 tweets by husbands about marriage. The 20 tweets below are all from moms and dads, and they range from anecdotes, to observations, to confessions. The one thing they all have in common? Each one will have you laughing out loud!
So, what do you think, moms and dads? Did these witty parents hit the nail on the head? Check out the hilarious list below!
1. When you discover you’re turning into your parents.
I never thought I’d be that parent who’d say, “Don’t make me turn this car around.” But here I am. Being that parent.
– Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) October 15, 2016
2. The embarrassment…
Dinner time was fine. Until my son started yelling at the vegetables on his plate. pic.twitter.com/Ay09tjho1z – Charlie N Andy (@HowToBeADad) October 18, 2016
3. Selective hearing?
What I say: No fruit snacks for breakfast.
What my toddler hears: EVERYBODY GETS FRUIT SNACKS! pic.twitter.com/9T6tk2VOX8
– Jennifer White (@yenniwhite) October 17, 2016
4. When your kids pick out the noisiest toys possible…
[Sam’s Club] Husband: We’ll never go through 28 bottles of Excedrin Migraine before they expire Kids: *from toy aisle* Challenge accepted – Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 19, 2016
5. This Dad is a true cheese fan.
My one son doesn’t like parmesan cheese on his pasta so he is for sale.
– Kalvin MacGhoul (@KalvinMacleod) October 17, 2016
6. Memories to last a lifetime!
Parents: *spend tons of money on hotels, food & attractions in NYC Kids: *declare the subway ride their favorite part of the whole vacation – Wendy S. (@maughammom) October 24, 2016
7. Busted!
A parenting rite of passage is getting caught throwing away Happy Meal toys as they sing from their grave bc you didn’t turn the sound off.
– Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 15, 2016
8. “Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.”
Unreasonably angry when my kids wake up during my “coffee and contemplation” time. pic.twitter.com/29sSv074fP – Peppermint Petty (@justjesssssssss) October 17, 2016
9. Reasons why I’m late for work:
According to toddlers, you haven’t really said goodbye unless you’ve said it 20 or 30 times.
– Andy Herald (@AndyHerald) October 20, 2016
10. Passive aggressive Skyping…
[Skyping] Me: What did you do today? 4-year-old: I rode a dinosaur. Me: I don’t think that happened 4: How do you know? You’re not here. – James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 21, 2016
11. You thought you were done with math homework years ago!
Made it to that level of dad where I’m hiding in the garage so my daughter can’t find me and has to ask mom to check her math homework.
– Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 19, 2016
12. Welcome to the 21st century.
What’s it like growing up in 2016? My 4-year-old got a drone stuck in her hair. The future is here, and it’s terrifying. – James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 24, 2016
13. It’s not a diet, its a lifestyle.
Some days I make my kids a nutritious breakfast. Other days they’re eating cookies as we walk out the door.
It’s called balance.
– Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 20, 2016
14. The cutest!
My kid does this cute thing where she asks me a question and then another and another and another and IT NEVER STOPS. – Mommy_Owl (@Lhlodder) October 12, 2016
15. You’d think you’d remember something like that…
4-year-old: I’ve never been to the hospital.
Me: You were born there.
4: No. I’d remember that.
– James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 24, 2016
16. Whatever Works!
My parenting book that I’ll never write is now called “Whatever Works (We are all winging it anyway)”. – Claire Smith (@MinistryOfMum) October 12, 2016
17. Minty fresh toes!
I just walked through a pile of toothepaste in the hallway…and that is what mornings are like when you have kids.
– Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) September 30, 2016
18. Just saving them for later!
Give a kid a fish & you feed him for a day. Give a kid some goldfish in the car & you’ll be finding them in the backseat for a lifetime. – Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) September 14, 2015
19. Thanks, honey!
When you build up a competent version of yourself in your head & your daughter brings home a picture titled “daddy being lazy on the couch.” pic.twitter.com/9YhLeEqrng
– Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) October 20, 2016
20. The honesty!
[school drop off] Me: Have a good day. 6-year-old: Then why did you bring me here? – James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 19, 2016
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