Woman Locks Eyes With Man Who Raped Her 20-Yrs-Ago, But Story Of Reconciliation Is Inspiring Thousands.

woman and man

Every day around the world, thousands of people are victims of rape. The emotional wounds left after the act are some of the deepest, and the slowest to heal. One woman has raised a banner for ladies everywhere to assure them, no matter the circumstance or severity of their situation, that there is always healing when you’re willing to forgive.

Thordis Elva met and started dating Tom Stranger in 1996 when they were both still teenageers in her hometown in Iceland. The couple attended a party together where Elva drank rum for the first time. The drink had a strong effect on Elva and she soon began to ‘come in and out of consciousness.’ A security guard noticed her inebriated state and tried to intervene, but that’s when Tom volunteered to take her home.

Tom took Elva back to her house where he hugged her close and made her feel safe. ‘He acted as my knight in shining armor,’ Elva said.“It was like a fairytale, he wrapped his strong arms around me, laying me in the safety of my bed.â€

It was in that moment that Tom decided to take advantage of Elva. As she was being raped, Elva counted the seconds pass by on her alarm clock to distract herself from the horror of her situation, “In order to stay sane, I silently counted the seconds on my alarm clock. And ever since that night, I’ve known that there are 7,200 seconds in two hours.â€

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TED

As the years went by, Elva harbored hatred toward Tom that could not be satisfied. She wanted to hurt Tom like she had been hurt. She wanted him to feel her pain and loss. Nearly a decade past when Elva decided to write Tom a letter to tell him every way he’d ruined her life. Tom responded with disarming regret.

For the next 8 years Elva and Tom kept up an email correspondence that “was gut wrenching, but healing beyond words.” Nearly 16 years after that fateful night, Elva and Tom both flew halfway around the world to Cape Town, South Africa to discuss the night that permanently reshaped their lives.

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TED

At that meeting, Tom described how he’d dealt with his own demons over the decades. A crushing guilt that consumed him every day since that fateful night.

Instead of anger, Elva found herself overwhelmed with feelings of forgiveness for Tom, and the two parted on good terms and with this truth in their hearts, “Light had triumphed over darkness… There is hope after rape.â€

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TED

Shortly their meeting, Elva began writing a book entitled “South of Forgiveness” that chronicles her journey through emotional healing and the impact forgiveness had in her life. She has invited Tom to co-author the book with her and hopes to release it in March of this year.

Recently, Elva and Tom hosted a TED talk that will absolutely blow you away. Be warned, this TED talk contains graphic language and descriptions of sexual violence, but we felt it important that you learn from what Elva and Tom have to say. Some of it is hard to hear, but the result and the lessons we can learn are inherently good.

Check out their incredible story of redemption in the video below!

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